“Every stage of our lives offers fresh opportunities. Responding to divine guidance, try to discern the right time to undertake or relinquish responsibilities without due pride or guilt. Attend to what love requires of you, which may not be great busyness.”
Quaker Faith and Practice 1.28 (Fourth edition), Britain Yearly Meeting, 2009
Q: Do I show through my way of living that love of God includes affirming the equality of all people, treating others with dignity and respect, and seeking to recognize and address that of God in every person?
“Show loving consideration for all creatures, and cherish the beauty and wonder of God’s creation. Attend to pure wisdom and be teachable.”
PYM Faith and Practice, 2002
Q: Is our Meeting open and accessible to all regardless of race, ability, sexual orientation, class, age or challenges?
We are all aging. Many people associate the term “aging” with the later years of life. If you ask a group when aging begins, the answer will often be an age older than that of the people in the group. Friends believe we should honor that of God in one another and willingly serve those in need. We care for our older and frail Friends and we educate and nurture our young.
One of the amazing joys of growing old is to reflect on life experiences. In fact, Sophocles in writing about old age, said, “One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.” As if to say, the rays of sun finally come together in striking brilliance as a sunset. So how can this brilliance be captured for ourselves as elders and to bless the Meeting?
First, create opportunities to celebrate individual lives. Perhaps it is a landmark birthday. An 85 year old in our Friends Meeting is still relishing the joy of her 80th birthday party. She said, “It was like going to my own Memorial Service, but I got to hear and enjoy it all.” Another person slowed the pace of an eventful life work as a peace activist. A cast of characters from 44 years of her work around the world were asked to share memories and fill a scrapbook. The Meeting shared a potluck and sang the songs that accompanied the journey. . This celebration allowed all of us to reminisce about the marches, campaigns, joys, and sorrows of trying to make a difference in the world.
The second way to capture the brilliance of the sunset is through the telling of one’s own story. There are many lists of interview questions and books that can help get the story telling juices flowing, but you simply need to sit down and put your thoughts to paper.
Everyone has a story! It is easy to think our own lives are not as significant as someone else’s life story, but in reality there is goodness in each story. My mother’s story is called ‘Homemaker’. She had an amazing ability to make home in seemingly unorthodox settings, like a chicken house or a truck bed. She painted, put up curtains, raked the gravel and created a home for her family. We all appreciated her willingness to make the most of what she had and her story reminds us of that goodness.
Spiritual Communities can be especially helpful in this process of capturing life stories. Individual or group story gatherers such as Young Friends, are a gift to all. In our Meeting, the present clerk has spent previous years interviewing elders particularly on their role and experiences as Quakers. Subsequently, Times to Remember sessions are scheduled, where she asks the Meeting and all who know these elders to come, hear their stories, and share their memories. This is a delightful ongoing process.
Many find their life story contains a message that needs to be shared in a publication. This could be a journal or newsletter produced by your faith group; Quakers for example may want to publish a Pendle Hill pamphlet or an article in Friends Journal. Don’t be bashful—put these life stories in the church, synagogue, mosque or Meeting library.
Perhaps those who especially need to have your story recorded in some way is your family. An easy way to capture a life story is with the photo album. A picture of swimming at the beach in Silver Bay can be used to tell the experience of going there over a life time, while breaking out some special incidents or meaningful memories. “The Baker Family and Silver Bay” can all be built around that one picture, or many such pictures!
A good life story is one of the most important gifts we can ever offer each other.
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LINKS TO MORE INFORMATION: Click on the blue text below to be directed to outside websites that offer additional information on this topic. Articles from this site will open in the same browser window/tab. Articles from other websites will open in a new window; when you are done, simply click out of that window and you will be back on this site.
More articles on this website:
Celebrating Aging in Your Faith Community
Generational Relationships: Advices and Queries
Generativity and Aging
Other Articles/Links:
Whole Life Story: ideas for story gathering
We all recognize that good health is essential for a great retirement, but what does that actually mean? Do these quotes speak to your condition?
“Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips.”
Attributed to John Wagner
“Like a lot of fellows around here, I have a furniture problem. My chest has fallen into my drawers.”
Billy Casper, about golf’s Senior Tour
Six simple keys to good physical health are maintaining:
Everyone’s circumstances are different. You should always consult with your doctor or health practitioner before starting new exercise programs or after illness or other changes. Keep yourself moving to the best of your ability, not someone else’s standards. Keep in mind that you are more likely to be consistent with physical activity if you are doing something you love.
“Don’t waste a moment feeling sorry for what you can no longer do. Just be thankful for what your body will still do for you. Think how well and uncomplainingly it serves you every day and thank it, thank it every day.”
Mary C. Morrison, “Gift of Days” Pendle Hill Pamphlet 364*
Tips:
“The only reasons to give up sex in retirement are the same reasons for giving up bicycling: you can’t, you don’t want to, or you don’t have a bicycle.”
Alex Comfort
LINKS TO MORE INFORMATION: Click on the blue text below to be directed to outside websites that offer additional information on this topic. Articles from this site will open in the same browser window/tab. Articles from other websites will open in a new window; when you are done, simply click out of that window and you will be back on this site.
More articles on this website:
Adaptive Advices
Aging with Peace
Allowing Yourself to be Cared For
Being Present When Friends Are Ill
Sexuality in Mid and Late Life
Other Articles/Links:
Widener College Sexuality and Aging Blog
Yoga Journal
Chair Yoga blog
Simple Exercises from familydoctor.org
Dr. Andrew Weil’s website
Dr. Gourmet Healthy Recipes
Sources/Further Reading:
* Mary C. Morrison, “Gift of Days”, Pendle Hill Pamphlet 364, Pendle Hill, Wallingford PA.
