“Do I show through my way of living that love of God includes affirming the equality of all people, treating others with dignity and respect, and seeking to recognize and address that of God in every person?” —PYM Faith and Practice, 2002
We are all aging. Many people associate the term “aging” with the later years of life. If you ask any group when aging begins, the answer will often be an age older than that of the people in the group!
Throughout life we change, through natural developmental processes and sometimes through unexpected events that challenge us. Each person’s journey of aging is unique. But have we thought about the age-related stereotypes and divisions that exist in our community?
Friends’ practice is to honor that of God in one another and willingly serve those in need. We care for our older and frail Friends and we educate and nurture our young.
What is ageism? In the words of Maggie Kuhn, leader for social change and founder of the Gray Panthers, “Ageism is the notion that people become inferior because they have lived a specified number of years.” A broader definition of ageism includes stereotyping and assumptions based on any age group, young or old. Starting with an honest assessment of ourselves will help us to address the factors that contribute to ageism.
Queries on ageism:
- Do I make assumptions about a person based on age?
- Have I been treated a certain way because of my age?
- Am I willing to confront my fears about aging?
- Do I examine myself for aspects of prejudice that may be buried, including beliefs that seem to justify biases based on age?
Practical steps we can take to improve relationships across generations:
- Check yourself for assumptions and recognize your experiences. What do you assume about teenagers? Older people? Toddlers? 40-year-olds? What experience led to this assumption? Do all people in that age group fit in with your assumption? Has the media influenced your viewpoint?
- Celebrate differences. Enjoy one another where you are, as you are, in your journey.
- Challenge the usual way of doing things. Instead of viewing multigenerational experiences as “special,” consider them to be the norm.
- Be intentional about structuring activities so that they are welcoming to all ages. This includes educational, social, and worship experiences.
- Be intentional in including all age groups in committee work and business decisions. Think adaptation rather than exclusion.
- Listen to one another and learn from one another.
Queries to Ponder
- Is our meeting open and accessible to all regardless of race, ability, sexual orientation, class, age, or challenges?
- • How does our meeting do the work of including everyone? How do we recognize others’ needs and adapt our practices to meet those needs?
More articles on this website:
Celebrating Aging in Your Faith Community
Quakers have a testimony to equality that upholds the belief that all people are equal. As such, we may not be accustomed to calling attention to any one individual.
Celebrating Lives and Life Stories
One of the amazing joys of growing old is to reflect on life experiences. So how can this brilliance be captured for ourselves as elders and to bless the Meeting?
See what’s happening among different age groups in your yearly meeting:
Additional suggested resources:
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Melinda Wenner Bradley, “Sampling of Resources for Intergenerational Community,” All Together Now.
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Dr. Lillian Carson, The Essential Grandparent, A Guide to Making a Difference, Health Communications, 1996.
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Traci Smith and David M. Csinos, Church Together: An Essential Guide to All-Age Ministry, Chalice Press, 2026.
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David M. Csinos, A Gospel for All Ages: Teaching and Preaching with the Whole Church, Fortress, 2022.
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Kristine L. Franklin, The Old, Old Man and the Very Little Boy, Atheneum, 1992: multigenerational picture book