What thought have I given to both short- and long-term adjustments I will need to make in my living arrangements as my personal energy and abilities decrease, as health problems require increasing attention, as driving a car becomes difficult or dangerous and as my personal support network changes? —PYM Faith and Practice, 2017

When is the right time to give up driving? This is one of the most difficult—and most avoided—conversations for older people and their loved ones. In fact, a 2019 study found that nearly 80% of older adults had never had a conversation about driving safety with their families or physicians. There is avoidance on both sides, as the conversation touches on safety as well as autonomy, changing bodies and minds, and the need to accept help. Giving up driving may be necessary, but it is often understandably difficult for people to take this step.

Age itself does not determine one’s ability to drive safely. Older drivers are more likely to self-regulate than other age groups, for example limiting their own driving to daytime or local streets, and are statistically more cautious. However, older adults are also at higher risk for physical conditions that impede their ability to drive safely, and they are more likely to be taking prescription drugs that can have a negative effect on driving skills. 

Giving up driving is a major life change. How will you get to the store, the park, a loved one’s home, or your Quaker meeting? What will you do differently when you need to call someone every time you need to get to a doctor’s appointment or pick up a few groceries? Giving up one’s mode of transportation means becoming more dependent upon others for help. This may well be why some people resist giving up driving, even when it has become uncomfortable or risky.

What can we do to help ourselves or others make this difficult transition?

• Don’t wait until driving is a problem. Think and talk about what to do if driving were no longer a possibility.
• f concerned about a loved one, consider a professional evaluation by a social worker or doctor to help determine whether it is safe for him/her to drive.
• Be honest about your concern while also offering alternatives—be ready with information about county transportation, individual help, or volunteer services.
• Embrace public transportation and shared rides; it’s better for the environment and the community. If you live in a place where this is difficult, consider whether where you live will be a good environment for you as you age.
• Advocate for better public transportation systems.
• Ask your Quaker meeting’s help to establish carpools or bus companions for getting to meeting. Why not do it for everyone, not just those who no longer drive?<
• Consider partnering with other local faith groups to create ready teams for transporting people who can no longer drive to worship, medical appointments, the grocery store, and other services.