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Anxiety and Change

Anxiety is a normal reaction to stress and affects all of us at one time or another: we are anxious about speaking in public, apprehensive about going to the doctor, and may worry obsessively while waiting for the results of a medical test. Some anxiety is healthy – it can keep us vigilant about things that are important for our well-being, compel us to move forward with our lives and inform us of a concern we need to address. However, anxiety that overwhelms one, making it difficult to function, may indicate an Anxiety Disorder.

Specific anxiety disorders affect 11% of people over the age of 55, but only a small percentage receive evaluation and treatment. Also, an estimated 17-21% of people over 55 have symptoms of anxiety that do not meet the criteria of a specific anxiety disorder. “Due to the lack of evidence, doctors often think that [anxiety] is rare in the elderly or that it is a normal part of aging, so they don’t diagnose or treat anxiety in their older patients, when, in fact, anxiety is quite common in the elderly and can have a serious impact on quality of life,” says researcher Eric J. Lenze, M.D.

Older adults are more likely to be facing enormous changes, loss, illness, or dementia that can cause or exacerbate anxiety. Conversely, when one is very anxious one may become forgetful or confused. Although it is usual for anxiety to increase with major life changes, anxiety that disrupts a person’s usual activities can and should be evaluated and treated.

Anxiety disorders are among the most treatable of illnesses, and include panic disorders, post traumatic stress disorder, social anxiety, and generalized anxiety disorder. Treatments vary and include medication, cognitive behavioral therapy, desensitization and relaxation techniques, yoga and exercise, and natural remedies.

“Facing the future, even with a sure faith, is not easy. I am cautious at every step forward, taking time and believing I shall be told where to go and what to do. Waiting patiently and creatively is at times unbearably difficult, but I know it must be so.”
Jennifer Morris, 1980, PYM Faith and Practice 2002

Symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder:

  • Excessive, ongoing worry and tension
  • An unrealistic view of problems
  • Restlessness or a feeling of being “edgy”
  • Irritability
  • Muscle tension
  • Headaches
  • Sweating
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Nausea or other stomach problems
  • The need to go to the bathroom frequently
  • Tiredness and being easily fatigued
  • Trouble falling or staying asleep
  • Trembling or tingling feelings in limbs
  • Being easily startled

As this list shows, the symptoms of anxiety often mimic symptoms of physical illness and vice versa. An evaluation by a doctor or mental health professional can help sort out the cause of one’s symptoms, allowing proper treatment.

How can we help? A spiritual community can provide spiritual support so that the whole person is addressed in the healing process.

  • Challenge stigma and fear of mental illness by educating oneself and others
  • Establish a climate of safety in your community for those with differences or facing major life changes.
  • Always ask. Let the person know you are there to help, and ask what they need. One would not question talking to a person about help they need related to physical illness.
  • Quaker Meetings may offer Clearness Committees for Friends or caregivers experiencing anxiety.
  • Remember that feelings are real to all of us. Regardless of how unrealistic a fear may seem, validate the person’s feelings. (See Quaker Aging Resources brochure on Validation)
  • Provide reassurance, but try not to belittle the person’s fear, and remember they may need to work in small steps.
  • Encourage but do not push a person with anxiety.
  • Refer to professionals. Encourage Friends to see their doctor and/or seek counseling.
  • Offer to walk beside the person on this journey. Even simply accompanying the person to an appointment can support and validate their care.
  • A very small group or individual visit can provide spiritual support if the person has trouble attending worship. If necessary, meet without the person to pray or hold them in the light, and let them know you are doing so.
  • Encourage physical activity, which has the capacity to alleviate anxiety. Offer to take a walk or a yoga class together.
  • Encourage professional help and provide information about your local resources.

“True silence is the rest of the mind; and is to the spirit, what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.”
William Penn, as quoted in PYM Faith and Practice, 2002

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More articles on this website:

Care of the Caregiver
Honoring the Individual Through Validation
Spiritual Approach to Dementia Care
Spirituality and Change
Stigma

Other Articles/Links:

Anxiety and Depression Association of America
Mental Health Ministries

Living at Home Forever

by Tom Wells

My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about 10 years before he died in 2007 at age 93. It was a slowly progressing disease at first. Fortunately my parents could maintain their regular retirement activities up until the last couple of years, when Dad’s flexibility and ability to care for himself really diminished. My parents chose to live at home, not really having the money or inclination to move to any type of retirement setting.

My parent’s scenario is typical of a lot of families these days and will become even more prevalent over the next 40 years. The Baby Boom cohort (of which I am a member) and our elderly parents, by choice or circumstance, will be living in their homes until they die. Unfortunately most of our homes are not really set up to enable graceful living as our ability to function in a “normal” way diminishes. Each of us will feel frustrated, bordering on angry, just like my Dad did, when we can not really care for ourselves in a dignified way. For Dad, changing a few simple things in his house would have gone a
long way to mitigating that frustration.

The nice thing about the changed that were needed for my parent’s house is that they actually increased the value of it, if even slightly. Number one on the list was installing a first floor powder room. For obvious reasons everyone liked this concept. Next was things to hold onto. Things like these can be a really sturdy chair or couch, an additional railing for a tricky spot getting in the house or at the top of the stairs, a decorative and sturdy towel bar in the kitchen or bath, stylish grab bars in the shower or by the toilet, some hooks for hanging coats and hats installed 6 inches lower or a non skid mat by the
front door.

A couple of years ago I pulled a leg muscle while working. It required a month of physical therapy up at St. Mary’s. What an eye opener – first of all there were people of all ages getting worked on and almost every part of the body was involved. For three weeks I could not bend over to tie my shoes unless I lay on the floor contorted something awful. My wish list then (and for the future) was a first floor bedroom ‘cause getting up and down the stairs was a time consuming ordeal. Also slightly wider doors to the bathroom, a few more foot stools to rest on, a side table or two, lever style door knobs,
and non-slip floors. I also noticed that having windows that opened easily made a difference, as I could tell that my diminished leg strength was affecting my ability to lift things. My kids, who for some reason love dumb waiters, thought there must be a location in the house for one of those – maybe to get their text books or I-pod upstairs!

Not to belabor the point, but going forward, whether we now own a home or will be moving into a different one in the future, most of us will be requiring our homes to help us live full functioning lives as our bodies begin to say otherwise. Making changes to the layout, structure and amenities long before the changes are needed is prudent. Lastly, if we are going to be living in our home indefinitely then the home should be as energy
wise as possible. Get an Energy Audit. Years of energy savings will mean a lot of money in your pocket.

Tom Wells is a Member of Fallsington Meeting in Bucks County PA, Sustainable Building Advisor, Certified Green Advantage Residential Practitioner and Certified Aging in Place Specialist.

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Aging with Peace

“I am learning to offer to God my days and my nights, my joy, my work, my pain and my grief…I am learning to use the time I have more wisely…And I am learning to forget at times my puritan conscience which prods me to work without ceasing, and instead, to take time for joy.”
Elizabeth Watson, 1979 PYM Faith and Practice

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Spirituality and Aging

Spirituality & Aging Workshop

- An interactive workshop with Friends exploring what spiritual gifts to nurture. An opportunity to bring a new vision of how the Inner life, the Creative Life and the Community Life can be discovered and shared. Read More

Aging with Peace

- Growing old, even when that means facing physical or other changes, can help us focus on what is essential. As we age, our perspective on what has meaning is refined. When we slow down, whether because of physical changes or by choice, we often become more contemplative. We may want to share memories and stories, to forgive or be forgiven, to express gratitude, to focus on our most essential values. Older adulthood offers the opportunity to model peace. Read More

Celebrating Aging in Your Faith Community

- Quakers have a testimony to equality that upholds the belief that all people are equal. As such, we may not be accustomed to calling attention to any one individual, but lifting up members can be enriching and enlightening for the community. We may need to be intentional in our efforts to acknowledge the wisdom, experience and needs of elders, but we can be inclusive in acknowledging milestones for people in any age group. Read More

Generational Relationships: Advices and Queries

- Throughout life we change, through natural developmental processes and sometimes through unexpected events that challenge us. Each person’s journey of aging is unique. But have we thought about the age-related stereotypes and divisions that exist in our community? Read More

Celebrating Lives and Life Stories

- One of the amazing joys of growing old is to reflect on life experiences. In fact, Sophocles in writing about old age, said, “One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.” As if to say, the rays of sun finally come together in striking brilliance as a sunset. So how can this brilliance be captured for ourselves as elders and to bless the Meeting? Read More

Adaptive Advices

- Assistive Devices can help people maintain self care skills and participate in their favorite activities. Communities benefit from diversity when adaptations are made to include people with physical or other disabilities. What are assistive devices and how can they help? Read More

Continuity and Coping

- Despite the often negative images of aging presented to us, older adults report a much higher degree of life satisfaction and self-esteem than younger persons. In fact, older adults have very high levels of self-acceptance and contentedness. They have encountered life’s vicissitudes, its surprises and disappointments, paradoxes and mysteries enough to know that they most likely will cope with whatever the future holds. And, that coping is best done with the support of others in their community, family and friends. Read More

Spirituality and Aging

- Each of us needs to find ways to nurture the spirit within us, just as we feed our bodies and our minds with exercise, nutrition and cognitive stimulation. In fact it is often the spirit that perseveres when the mind and body have failed, and the spirit that lingers in the memories of those who remain. It this vein, it is important for us to acknowledge the spirit inside a person with dementia or diminished abilities. Read More

Generativity and Aging

- We know that despite any number of challenges, our elders are precious. How can we come to hold our own aging in the light that we view those who came before us? Read More

Diversity by Tom Atlee

- Diversity is difference. It is a natural phenomenon, intimately related to uniqueness and identity. There is a rich world of discovery awaiting us when we are ready to fully encounter our diversity. But first we have to lift our heads above the bustle around us and look at the big picture. Read More

Ways to Be Wise by Tom Atlee

- When people talk about wisdom, they often use sight-related words like insight, foresight, discernment, farsightedness, brilliance, reflection, illumination, enlightenment, visionary and seer. The owl, often a symbol of wisdom, has prominent eyes that see clearly in the dark, and seem to be watching everything with penetrating attention. This metaphor of seeing makes a good place to start in our exploration of wisdom. Read More

Older Adulthood and Stewardship of the Environment

- Engaging in multigenerational conversation and activities can help carry our values and forward into the future. Quakers have a testimony on Stewardship of the Environment, and in this concern the wisdom passed between generations may be especially crucial. In your spiritual community, it is the older adults who know what once grew in the field where the strip mall now stands. If you understand where the underground springs lie, or where the lady slippers grew in the woods, chances are it was an older neighbor who passed that wisdom on. Read More

Role of the Spiritual Community in Care

- Often Meetings are shy about contacting Friends and attenders who might be in need of some sort of support. Meeting members say, “I don’t want to intrude”, or, “They’ll call us if they need something”, or, “We don’t do that.” Actually, we should reach out, as we did historically, and, if not us, who then? Read More